It’s been a while…

Wow… two eventful months have passed since my last post.

I have been so happy at the start of February when I had found my own place to live, got it all nicely decorated and made plans for the upcoming months where to travel next. Who would have thought that only a few weeks later the world would turn upside down? But from the start.

End of January I had found a flat in Dunfermline and got the keys on the 5th of February. I still stayed in my flat in Edinburgh most of February to get furniture sorted and I also had to get a blue wall in my new bedroom painted white. It has been some very stressful weeks. I had some help from my friend Francesca but most of the stuff I did all by myself. I got some boxes from a nice friend from Instagram and drove my stuff over to Dunfermline whenever I had time. In between I built up my furniture. The worst was the bed… It has been very disappointing when people who had offered help initially suddenly had no time or other stuff to do… But ultimately I have been very proud how I did it all with very little help or support. But there have been lots of tears as well…

I was looking forward to my parents visiting me for 10 days at the beginning of March to spend some nice days with them but suddenly the whole Coronovirus crisis picked up faster and faster. The first 4 days they were here, we sorted out some more things in the flat, went on a trip to St Andrews and St Monas and also a day trip up to the Highlands to Killin and Kenmore and visited the Blair Atholl distillery in Pitlochry. We had a lovely very Scottish lunch with Cullen Skink and Haggis bon bons in Kenmore and also stopped at the Hermitage on the way back. Before going to Ikea one day, we also visited Rosslyn Chapel. But then things in Europe got worse by the day and my parents also did not want to risk public transport into Edinburgh. Hence, they spent the days until they left on the Friday in my flat mostly.

Thank God I had a bigger one now ;). Nevertheless I am beyond grateful I got to spend so much time with them and they actually made it back home to Germany safe and sound and just in time. At the moment I have no idea when I will be able to see them again as I do no think travelling in-between countries by plane will be allowed too soon.

This has also been my biggest fear. It is all nice and great living in another country when you have the luxury to travel whenever you like to see your friends and family in your “home” country. But currently even though I might have not been able to see them even if I lived in Germany, the thought of not being able to just fly over when something happens to them, is my biggest concern.

The Sunday after they had left I spent at Loch Leven near Kinross. Exactly one year ago I did my first trip there after I had moved to Scotland. It was a very Scottish day in terms of weather but I finally got a proper rainbow shot. Normally when I see a rainbow I am in the car driving 😀

The weekend before the actual lockdown across the UK, I spent in Glencoe. I contemplated with myself for days if I should really go. I was not worried about me but what if I had the virus without knowing and bringing it to an area with less infrastructure? I would not have been at all angry if the guys from my accommadation had cancelled my reservation but they were still fine with me to come. It was a wee hut I stayed at, right on their premises in Kinlochleven. I left Friday after work and had one of the most amazing drives up ever. I arrived at the Highlands right on time for sunset. It was stunning. Everything that was going on in the world was just miles away.

The hut was awesome and honestly one of the best accommodation I have ever been to. And I had some really nice ones over the past years. It was clean, super cosy and had everything you needed to self-cater yourself. I had brought all kind of foods with me so I did not have to go to the shops to buy food at all. I checked myself in, as we thought it was safer if I did not get in contact with anyone at all.

However, I had real problems to relax and not to think about what was going on in the outside world. The next day I drove to the Glencoe Lochan for a walk and then further to Glen Etive. And blimey – it was busy in the Glen!!!! All car parks were packed and people walking everywhere and campers all over. So much for my concerns… I stayed away from everyone though and only then went for a walk on the West Highland Way in direction of Devil’s staircase when I was back in Kinlochleven. It was great! And I really want to do the whole way one day. I did not go too far as it was already late in the afternoon and still snow on the hills, so I was not sure how the path would look like going much further.

I left early on Sunday morning as I just couldn’t enjoy my stay much longer. I also did not stop much on the way back to Dunfermline and was already back by lunch time. Right on time for the official lockdown from Monday…

Crazy how quickly things then went downhill in the world… I worked normally from home for the week but got a call from my manager on the Friday to be placed on furlough for two months, starting from the 1st of April. So today marks 1 week on leave for me now. It is a very strange feeling for me as I have never been off work for more than two weeks. Not for holidays and not in-between jobs. Thinking this will be go on for another 7 weeks is currently still completely out of my imagination. I started knitting to keep myself distracted. I was checking the news and numbers of infected people in Europe every hour and it was driving me insane. I luckily stopped that now. I have to say, the awesome sunny spring weather does not help to be locked at home basically. At least for me it makes things worse. I know people have it much worse, so I am not complaining. However, today was the first day, I was really bored but also did not want to do anything at all actually. I still went for a walk around town. But I really miss just driving somewhere to walk and take pictures or sit down and just watch the world go by. I miss going out for sunsets. I miss sitting in a café or go for some nice food. Again, I know I am complaining on a high level here… But it is weird that you suddenly cannot even do basic stuff.

Every problem you thought was a major thing a few weeks ago now seems almost ridiculous.

I just want this all be over soon… I am normally happy on my own, not going out much but this is really making me beyond anxious and I need to really focus not to panic. I never felt so lonely in my life even though I am in constant contact with my family and friends. But to know I cannot go and see someone or someone come and hug me is a freighting thought.

I hope everyone who reads this is still well and copes as best as possible. I am praying for happier days again soon, to explore Scotland and the UK further.

Lots of love ❤

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